I'm not sure I believe you didn't cheat for your gain and benefitbut Allahu alem, I guess. Every situation is different, and what works best for one family may not work best for another. Some people consciously or subconsciously use cheating as a way to end a marriage. There is no right or wrong way to do this, or any written rules, but I found these recommendations to be helpful: 1. Follow your instinct and trust your parents judgment as well as they have lived longer and have more experience with life. Pray and fast, may Allah forgive you. I dont have a Wali and my mother is haunted by Jinns, I wish to leave my cheating husband and take the children with me. Realise that there is a severe punishment for people who commit zina. Even though the cheating may not be in the form of sexual contact, the cheater is already cheating by the heart. We keep to ourselves. I didn't get any satisfaction out of it, it was purely for the other person. Are they willing to go to a 12-step program to deal with their addiction? You don't need to make matters worse by potentially spreading STDs to your husband. No one does this except one who is ignoble and does not care about his soul, so he causes it to indulge in that which will cause its doom and destruction. Its NOT about the religion, Its about the betrayal. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way. (Al-Isra, 17:32). This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Below are the explanation about cheating in Islam: Definition of Cheating According to Islam. I didn't get any satisfaction out of it, it was purely for the other person. This is how to treat a cheating husband: 1- You should treat him very kindly. My husband is however a muslim. This especially applies to the Muslim couples. Married couples have the choice of following the orders of Allah or walk in the path of satan. 4. Remember His punishment and torment: Verily, your Lord is Ever Watchful (over them). This inner voice was a stark wake-up call when I came home from a work trip to Indonesia and recoiled from my husband's embrace. disbelievers), verily! What's The Matter? |My Husband Has Been Cheating On Me During her graduate career she had the privilege of being a part of the AAMFT Minority Fellowship Program and was granted over $50,000 in funding. The believer is the mirror of his brother, so if he sees some fault in him he should correct it. What appears to be the case in your situation with your cheating husband is that you have a place in his heart; were it not for that he would have hastened to end the marital relationship between you after he found out that you are aware of his haram relationship with that woman. He got married a while back and has a baby boy now, with another on the way. Allah, may He be exalted, has promised to those who give thanks increased blessings and He warns those who are ungrateful for blessings of a severe punishment, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allah), I will give you more (of My Blessings), but if you are thankless (i.e. Cheating and Deception - The Religion of Islam But still, if you really wish to follow the commandments of Allah, please maintain patience. So an employee must be sincere in his work and do it in the manner required by shareeah, without cheating or deceiving anyone, and without delaying work for people. The phenomenon of cheating - Islam Question & Answer - IslamQA.info While others may be impulsive and take opportunities for immediate gratification. Jareer said to the owner of the horse look at this sincerity Your horse is worth more than three hundred dirhams. We don't fight or argue hardly at all, we are best friends! These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Every time I think of it I feel like I betrayed not only my husband but Allah as well. If your are not ready to continue with your marriage and youre considering separation, ask yourself some questions: Does your ex-boyfriend want to marry you? I would advice that the sis Miss Covert be clear about her needs and expectations for trust to be rebuilt. 266825. I think the Prophet said, In that oven here was much noise and voices. The Prophet added, We looked into it and found naked men and women, and behold, a flame of fire was reaching to them from underneath, and when it reached them, they cried loudly. She has completed her masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from University of Houston-Clear Lake and has previously worked in various hospitals and institutions including: DePelchins Children Center in Houston, TX, Methodist Hospital, and AIGB Diagnostics for a bariatric surgical group in San Anotonio, TX. My husband is amazing, he is polite, sweet, very deen conscious, and so am I and this is why I cannot believe I have done such a thing to betray my husband and to anger Allah SWT. Before he got married, he was what you can call a 'playboy' and partook regularly in zina. Do not forget to establish a support system for you and your child, including family therapy and, finally, I highly recommend reading the book After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner has been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD. People get weary, exhausted and hungry if you go too long and things can escalate and become extremely ugly. However, generally speaking, people have affairs because their needs are not being met. How many ways and means of cheating there are among the students! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Copyright 2022 MuslimMatters: Because Muslims Matter. Please make sure it doesn't happen again! Allah, may He be glorified, has blessed him with good health, well-being and a wife and children, either now or soon, in sha Allah. The First Time I Cheated On My Husband - Medium The way to show gratitude for these blessings is not to waste this good health and well-being in haram relationships with non-mahram women, and the way to show gratitude for the blessing of the wife and children is not by neglecting them and breaking ties with them. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". New articles are added every week. Ibn Hajar al-Haythami said: Because of these evil actions i.e., cheating that are committed by traders, workers and craftsmen, Allaah caused the oppressors to gain power over them and take their wealth and violate the sanctity of their women. She asked me to divorce her but I did not accede to her at that time, thinking about the impact on my kids. Get in touch with Williamsdhackghost (at)Gmail. 5-It causes one to be deprived of barakah (blessing) in one's wealth and one's life. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? The possibility of healing from infidelity rests on the willingness of both parties to rebuild trust and the relationship. In these days of Facebook and Twitter, anyone can make themselves LOOK good. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account I dont know where to start and if I ever will be able to trust him. What has happened cannot be undone, but you can repent and take steps to avoid it ever happening again. They usually have great remorse for what happened and vow never to put themselves in that type of situation again. If you go back to your husband and try to work things out through counseling and using marital resources online to get yourneeds met, this can work, provided you both are willing to work on the marriage. Set a beginning time and an ending time. And Allaah is the Source of strength.. 2-Some fathers and guardians of women show the suitor the daughter who is beautiful, then on the wedding night he finds out that he has been given a different daughter who is ugly, but he has no choice but to accept the situation. You have been unhappy for at least a year (I suspect for much longer). Does Islam allow this? 3. You do not have to tell your husband that you had an affair, especially if (1) you have repented to Allah and feel ashamed and have committed to never doing it again and (2) it will inhibit the chances you have to work on your marriage with your husband. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Currently, she lives in the UK with her husband and two children. I am a physiotherapist and one of my clients is a hot guy named Julian. 3- Dont let many people know about what your husband is doing. One way of breaking the ice would be to post your worry on to a Forum ( without mentioning any names ) with All your Hurt and Dissapointment mentioned and the fact that you still Love him dearly and are willing to Forgive, Reconcile and move on with your life together. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account